Which is more precious, diamonds or water?
There were sparkles in the sand,
And oyster beds beneath the waves.
The cliffs were carved and crystal caves
Held quartz that were 10 times larger than a man.
The summer breezes were cool and clean
Tropical fruits ripe through most of the year
The fish were so plentiful, one could catch with a spear
The biggest trout or perch ever seen.
Under the stones in the clifftops above
One could hear bubbling and follow the sound
Until a place with hot springs was found
And desire was heightened for couples in love.
I was there that day in the springtime of life,
With birdsong and wind-chimes making song,
And for a short time, nothing was wrong-
Until I awoke to the stab of reality’s knife.
epilogue:
Here in the city where greed doesn’t sleep,
And the natives welcome with Cheshire smiles,
Neon lights the way as Lady Luck beguiles
Luring unwary tourists into her Keep.
Palm trees and gilded lilies adorn
The path to a promise that ends in a trap;
The pot at the rainbows end is full of crap
Riches to rags left tattered and torn.
Tagged with: birdsong • couples in love • crystal caves • epilogue • google • greed • hot springs • lady luck • lilies • natives • neon lights • oyster beds • palm trees • riches to rags • script type • springtime of life • summer breezes • text javascript • tropical fruits • Wind Chimes
Filed under: Wind Chimes
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We all dream of Eden, but carry the knife wounds of sin. Interesting progression if I am reading it correctly. Edits to consider: L4S1 do you need ‘that were’? L7S1: do you need ‘the’ ‘were’? Other edit suggestions would be removing the unneeded words, like the, and, etc. Overall though, a good read with a message.
Nipples.
Water will soon reach diamond’s cost, at the rate at which we pollute the world.
guess what
2 points for me
Diamonds are very pretty and nice, but if I had to pick on it would be water. You can live with out diamonds, you need water.
well u can live with out dimomds but you can only last 3 day with out water
A diamond can make a life slightly better,
but water can save one.
therefore water is more precious.
great imagery then the snap out at the end I caught that
water……..
sounds like to me you need a trip to the sticks
nothing better than a creek and getting checked for ticks….
Water is more precious. Think of having unending diamonds with nothing water at all. We can live without diamonds but we can’t without water…at all!
first thought is water, i’ve never cared for diamonds
now throw me a topaz, a gassed gemstone…yeah
sidewalks, boardwalks, goat trails, ya gotta find something
like water
to cover you with
hmmm…..hope? freshness?
I like your poem, the turns in it lend lots of thoughts…
Vegas?
Never been.
I don’t even buy lottery tickets.
It’s an awful shame when someone dies of thirst, but it’s worse if they die for want of diamonds; it usually means they were robbing a jewelry store or some such…
Goooood poem; enjoyable read.
the first part of this one reminded me of a picture Regwah took…diamonds of water!
this is really in your face and I like it.
Needs! before wants, water to be sure, without water we would not exist……………..Nice pen.