PLEASE READ my POEM!!!!!!!!!?
Outcast
It’s all my fault, ’shouldn’ve know that from the start,
In your life, I’m the mis-shapen part.
The distorted edge, or the last puzzle piece,
the messy apartment, wrongfully put up for lease.
I don’t fit in, and you don’t like that.
I’m the frayed scarf, a tear in your velvet hat.
So let me get swept away, like dirt,
or clipped, like a thread off your shirt.
Let me drift, free into the sky.
Feel free to ignore me, don’t even try,
to make me feel normal, or keep me grounded,
because I’ve given up, after all the alarms I’ve sounded.
Pretend they’re just wind chimes,
or all the spare pennies, nickels and dimes,
in the bottom of your change purse.
Or an empty heart beating in the back of a hearse.
You don’t need me, so don’t shed a tear-
because, guess what- I’m no longer here.
Meeee-13
Tagged with: alarms • apartment • change purse • dirt • empty heart • google • hearse • nickels and dimes • outcast • pennies nickels • puzzle piece • scarf • script type • sky • text javascript • velvet hat • Wind Chimes
Filed under: Wind Chimes
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
I really, really like this poem. Poetry is meant to invoke a feeling in the reader, move them & make them see with new eyes, & this does that well. I like the rhyme, rhyme in poetry gives structure, adds rhythm, makes it flow, & helps to hold the reader. Keep up the good work.
love it!
Some of it’s good but you’re trying way too hard to make it rhyme. Poems don’t have to rhyme. Most of the best ones don’t rhyme. Instead of writing each sentence to end with the same sound as the one before it, just let your verses go. Don’t be confined to the page or any rules you’ve been taught.
There is a lot of crap poetry out there. But this poem isn’t crap. It’s quite impressive, actually.
I liked the piece, and the ending was powerful.
good poem i liked it do you like poetry? cause i love it keep making poems but not on here in yahoo because people just say that is a good poem even though it isnt honestly i liked it good job if you know any page where i can see or public poems.
my email is: jacubash@yahoo.com
It’s very powerful. Personally, I like the rhyming, although it’s true that good poetry doesn’t require it. There were a few places where the rhythm threw me off a bit–for example "a tear in your velvet hat" line might flow a little more smoothly if it said "a torn velvet hat." Just keep polishing it. You said you were "a future writer?" That’s wrong. You are a writer, already.
wow, its great. i think yuou should keep working.